


My Mind, Only You || sakuatsu

by dan_too



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A little bit of angst, Alternate Universe - College/University, Atsumu is oblivious, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Overthinking, Pining, Sakusa Kiyoomi is in love, get out of your head please
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:01:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29192742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dan_too/pseuds/dan_too
Summary: Sakusa Kiyoomi hates a lot of things, particularly about himself. The fact that he can’t interact well with others, his fear of bacteria, and his inability to be touched or want to touch.The thing he hates most, however, is something entirely different.He can’t get this setter, Atsumu Miya, out of his head.(or, something i wrote when i had a vivid fever dream a week ago.)
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first sakuatsu fic ever- i might continue it, stay tuned!

It started off as a toss, a slam, and a look and smile in his direction. A carefree, confident smile that blazed right through Kiyoomi Sakusa’s heart, sending a soft shiver down his lean body as a whistle blew for the next rep.

Sakusa didn’t think college volleyball would start off like this, nor did he think he would meet the person who sent shockwaves through him every time their eyes met. It was a sort of “oh, great!” situation that Sakusa deeply loathed. He just wanted to play volleyball, not get caught up in silly little things like counting the number of times the setter glanced at him after a play, or the amount of times a soft, breathy, “nice kill.” was muttered from him. Volleyball, to Sakusa, wasn’t supposed to be this complicated, neither was it supposed to be a sport where the black-haired male would constantly be in his head about a predicament such as this one.

It didn’t help that the boy was in his classes as well. Starting off his second year in college was hard enough, and the fact the person who he thought about 24/7 was in practically all of his courses only made it even more horrible than it already was. He felt as if there were some hex cast upon him by an ill-favored spirit, silently wishing hell upon him.

A few weeks would pass until Sakusa learned of the boy’s name, a few weeks of complete misery as thought after thought would rush into his head every single time Sakusa saw him. Fantasies where Sakusa had the guts to talk to him, conversations he would have with the mini-problem in his mind about volleyball and other topics, and pathetic little date scenarios in which they would have picnics while stargazing. You name it, it was there.

It was after a long day of practice, of hitting these setter’s almost perfect sets over and over again until he felt he had memorized the way the ball felt against his palm, until his hand was soon molded into the curve of the ball. Sakusa was sitting against the cool gym walls, catching his breath as sweat beaded and dripped on his forehead. He turned and rummaged through his black duffel, unzipping a pocket and pulling out a towel to wrap around his sweaty neck. Sighing as he leaned back against the white painted brick, he closed his eyes.

The setter’s calm, mocha eyes popped into his head, and a smile tugged at his lips, though it was hidden by the face mask he had put on after practice. The intensity at which he’d glanced at him after an almost flubbed set because of Sakusa’s tenacity to analyze a set before he hit it had sent a deep shiver down his back. It was stronger than the ones he’d usually receive after the setter would scan his eyes across him, and Sakusa had prayed that the setter didn’t notice when he had taken an almost confused glance over at him.

Apparently, the gods hated Sakusa for whatever reason, because when Sakusa opened his eyes, the boy was crouched in front of him, eyes trained directly on him.

Of course, Sakusa’s initial reaction to anyone near him was to move away, however with his back against the wall, there weren’t many options for him to scoot away without making it awkward. His back arched slightly as he pressed himself more on the wall, a somewhat disgusted expression overtaking his small smile from before. Sakusa looked to the side, a bit afraid to meet the setter’s gaze as the boy studied him. A soft “hm” sounded from him as he backed away a little, noticing Sakusa’s uncomfortableness. The outside hitter let out a tiny breath of relief, relaxing his shoulders. He found himself moving his gaze towards the setter, his eyes traveling up to his face to marvel in his features.

His face seemed to further increase the confident and carefree aura he produced, an untroubled glint in his soft mocha eyes. His lips seemed to have a smirk engraved in them, however the usual expression was replaced with a small frown, and the normal gleam was changed to a slightly worried one. He had an undercut; the top half of his hair was dyed a light blond, parted so that one half curled over, while the other, smaller half curled to the other side. The setter tilted his head slightly to the left, imitating a puppy’s confused antics. It was almost sort of childlike, despite their respective ages. It also made Sakusa wonder why he felt his heart nearly skip a beat.

“I noticed your shivering. You hit my tosses pretty well, so I don’t want you of all people getting sick. Are you okay?”

He spoke with a soft, slightly high pitched voice, an accent bordering his words. The tone had a slight edge to it, as if he wasn’t really worried about Sakusa’s wellbeing. Instead, he was worried whether or not his tosses would be hit.

It was sort of selfish, however Sakusa had deduced that much out of him from previous practices. Caring about a hitter’s mental state of the day, making sure they got their daily reps in to boost their confidence and make them feel at ease, or talking with them before drills to read their emotions and hype them up for the day was how a setter would often go about things. 

No, for this setter it was different. It wasn’t their team, it was his team, and a player who could not hit his self deemed “perfect” sets had no place on the court. He wasn’t afraid of confronting players if they had even so much as got the timing wrong, going so far to cuss one out of the gym after they had blamed the flubbed play on him and his sets.

Sakusa had to admit that his sets were some of the best he’d ever encountered and hit, however he would only admit that in his pining, jumbled mind. He didn’t want to admire his ability to not be scared of others, being so assured of his skill that he didn’t have a single worry about not performing at his absolute best. He didn’t want to, but he did anyways.

Sakusa also had to admit- he was a little jealous of it.

“Hello, you there?” A hand flashed over Sakusa’s zoned out gaze, snapping the outside hitter back to reality. He blinked a few times, replacing his inattentive look with a bored, negligent one. He shrugged his shoulders and looked to the side, trying to act as if he didn’t care. 

“Yeah. Sure. I’m fine. Don’t know why it’s bothering you. You have plenty of other hitters.”

The setter hummed at his reply. Sakusa allowed himself to steal a glance at him, sighing softly as his mind roared. The blond haired boy bounced on his heels as he crouched down, letting out a puff of air as he leaned back and plopped down on the wood flooring. Their eyes were leveled now, making it harder for Sakusa to fight the urge to stare into them.

“Well, I do, however I think your turtle-pace approach makes it easier for me to set to you!”

Sakusa was appalled.

“What? What is that supposed to mean? Is that some sort of compliment to you?”

The setter chuckled, a light, airy laugh escaping his lips. He sighed and shook his head, bowing it down a little to let his eyes meet Sakusa’s shoes.

“I mean, it isn’t a bad thing.”

Sakusa sighed as well, rolling his dark eyes as he crossed his legs. 

“You suck at complimenting people, you know that, right?”

The blonde’s eyes snapped up in an instant, the same intensity from earlier blazing inside. Sakusa tried his hardest to repress the shivers that slowly crawled through his spine, his finger twitching instead. 

“I only give compliments if they’re deserved.”

Sakusa felt even more outraged than earlier. He furrowed his eyebrows and prepared to retort, however the setter looked down, a sort of flustered look flashing through his face. The intensity was gone now. 

“Well…I guess you do deserve them.”

“That’s a start.” Sakusa said sarcastically. His heart thumped a little harder in his chest as the blonde’s face became even more flustered after his comment, the blonde biting his lip as he regained his composure. He glanced up from the floor, his usual guise returning as he laughed a little.

“Sarcasm, huh... I kind of like you. What’s your name?”

“And why should I tell you?” Sakusa scoffed, trying to play it cool despite his mind whirling with thousands of different scenarios.

“I’m Atsumu Miya.” Atsumu gave a thin smile, an evident smirk tugging at his lips.

“....Kiyoomi Sakusa.” Sakusa replied. His heart soared with joy as his mind came up with even more new scenarios, each one replacing the usual names he would call the setter with his name now. _Miya. Atsumu. Miya. Atsumu._

“Oooh! Can I call you Omi?” Atsumu’s face lit up at the suggested nickname, the childlike persona returning. Sakusa pretended to act horrified at the nickname, though, as per usual, his mind went absolutely crazy. _He gave you a nickname…_

“Absolutely not.” Sakusa huffed, snapping his head away to stare at an interesting pillar in the far corner. Anything right now was more interesting than basically staring at Atsumu’s unfazed expression.

“Alright, Omi!” The blonde hummed as Sakusa groaned. “You can call me Atsumu, or ‘Tsumu, though that’s what-“

“Quiet, Miya.” Sakusa snapped as he heaved himself up from the floor, grabbing his duffel and slinging it over his shoulder. His shoes squeaked against the wood flooring as he walked to the gym exit, getting ready to start his commute back to his dorm. The chattering from Atsumu soon stopped as he left the boy behind, sighing a little in relief as his head and heart began to calm down.

“Omi!”

He spoke too soon.

Atsumu was by his side at an instant, his own duffel slung over his shoulder. Sakusa tensed up, shocked about how close he was to him. He hunched his shoulders and sidestepped so that they were at distance away from each other.

“Omi, why so tense? Lighten up a little! Do you hate crowds or just people in general?”

The tension seemed to increase even more in Sakusa. _He got it so spot on. How does he do that…_

“None of your business. Now can I walk to my dorm in peace?”

“What dorm complex do you have? Maybe we’re near each other!” Atsumu hummed, clearly not picking up on the social cue. _Either that, or he’s just flat out ignoring me._

“...Malway. And you?”

Sakusa turned to look at the blonde as a gasp came out of his mouth, his eyes lighting up even more at Sakusa’s answer. He ran ahead and skipped in front of Sakusa, walking backwards with his hands behind his back as he smiled.

“Looks like we have the same dorm, Omi!”

Even worse. Not only did Sakusa have him for all his courses and volleyball, now they were living in the same dorm complex? He could probably make a novel from how many scenes passed through his brain with him and Atsumu meeting late at night after hours in front of the dorm entrance or sneaking to each other’s rooms to watch movies.

“Seems so.” Sakusa replied quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

Ever since that day, Atsumu Miya was like a thorn in Sakusa’s side; never leaving him by himself for one moment. 

The day usually went by like this: Sakusa would wake up, get ready for school, and head down to the dorm cafe to get some breakfast before he started his commute to his first class. Of course, Atsumu would be down there as well, saving a seat for Sakusa in the far corner where Sakusa liked it best. Usually Atsumu was up before Sakusa because he would go on runs, runs that the setter had constantly been nagging him to go on with him. Each request was promptly ignored, of course.

They would make their commute to class together, with Atsumu rambling on and on about things like volleyball, other sports, people in their classes that he felt would be terrible at volleyball, and of course just random topics that would pop into the setter’s head every now and then. “Do you think birds have feelings, Omi?” Atsumu had questioned one morning after seeing a baby bird fall out of the nest.

“First of all, I told you to stop calling me Omi.” Sakusa snapped, smiling a little under his mask at the nickname. “Second of all, why does it matter? We’re people, not birds, so does it really pertain to us whether or not they have feelings? Wouldn't it be better to keep to ourselves?

Oops. Sakusa had said too much.

A hum had been earned for his answer, and Atsumu had not touched on that completely random topic since.

Classes with Atsumu were a bit less boring than before now, considering Atsumu made sure to sit by the outside hitter for each period. At first, Sakusa was a bit iffy on it since he didn’t want to be distracted, however Atsumu somehow made it easier for him to pay attention during classes. It was a lot of weight off his shoulders, and Sakusa was grateful, though he’d never admit it outright. 

It was lunch time now. Sakusa was busy unpacking his lunch, a bento box he had bought at one of the campus convenience stores. He was a bit surprised when Atsumu didn’t join him, however the quiet was blissful, so he didn’t complain. Of course, he did miss the comforting aura of his friend, and the silence soon started to become overbearing. There was a gap in Sakusa’s mind now, overfilling with the voice of Atsumu Miya. 

He was just about ready to leave when that same voice called him back into his reality, a rush of yellow hair and a green jacket flashing before his vision. Sakusa backed up as Atsumu appeared suddenly, smiling his usual overconfident smile. Behind the setter, Sakusa could see two shapes behind him, a broad shouldered, tall guy with silver and black spiky hair, and a short little orange haired sprout that peeked from behind Atsumu’s back.

Sakusa, as per usual, backed up even more at the sight of more people he wasn’t comfortable with. He snorted and turned away, starting to leave.

“Wait, Omi.” A hand was placed on his shoulder. The hand of Atsumu Miya.

Shock filled his body. Touch was something Sakusa didn’t have much experience with, considering he hated people and germs. He didn’t know how to react to one's touch, or whether or not to enjoy it or loathe it. Sakusa only allowed his cousin, Komori, to touch him, though he was always hesitant despite their closeness. He didn’t know how to touch others, or to show whether or not he liked or hated it. Frankly, he never wanted to experience it with others. A hug or a hand being held were things he’d rather not have any involvement in. 

Though, at times, the sudden urge to be hugged by Atsumu Miya came to him late at night, then he would rethink his decisions while beating himself up for going against his own will. No wonder he wasn’t getting much sleep recently.

Now, though, there was a soft hand gripping his shoulder, warmth spreading through his whole body as Atsumu came closer to Sakusa to whisper to him. The outside hitter didn’t know what to do, nor what to say, so he just stood there, frozen in confusion, fear, and warmth.

“Omi...I know you don’t like people, but these two are some of my friends. I thought since you were my friend too, we could all get along.”

Sakusa’s heart gave a small murmur, voicing to his brain that he didn’t like this one bit. He could feel the jealousy returning, this time sharper than ever. He wanted to stop himself from thinking the things he was thinking, and even more so when he voiced a thought out loud.

“I only want to hang out with you. You’re someone I’m comfortable with.”

“Hm?” Atsumu hummed, tilting his head to the side. Sakusa managed to let out a tiny sigh of relief when he realized Atsumu wasn’t able to hear, thanking the gods for his low voice that was easy to murmur with. However, he couldn’t help but wish Atsumu did hear him. Maybe Atsumu would be able to pick up on Sakusas fondness for the blonde. Maybe he would’ve said the exact same thing, and the two would give their goodbyes and spend the rest of the day together. It sent a sharp pain down to his heart, making it ache. Just a little.

Atsumu hummed once more as he patted Sakusa’s back, rubbing circles into his muscle and spreading gentle warmth throughout his body. He didn’t know whether or not to place his hand on Atsumu’s. He didn’t know how to show Atsumu he liked it. All Sakusa could do was stand there, helpless to the touch of his friend, confused. 

It was a few more moments of this before Atsumu backed away, turning back to the people behind him.

“Sorry, guys! Omi is just not that comfortable with people.”

“Huh...will we still be able to meet your new friend, Tsum-Tsum?” One of the people voiced. Sakusa turned and came face to face with the silver and black haired boy. He was tall, and looked to be about a year ahead of them. Sakusa recognized him as one of the hitters for the college’s volleyball teams. He remembered this man calling for toss after toss from Atsumu, and his powerful hits that echoed through the court.

“It seems he’s warmed up to us!” A smaller, squeakier voice sounded. It was the orange head. A small, little guy, looked to be about a first year or so. Sakusa recognized his voice, his eyes, and his hair from volleyball as well. He wasn’t the best player, however his ability to adapt to the situation quickly made him critical for victory. 

“Omi, this is Koutarou Bokuto and Shouyou Hinata. They play with us on the team, remember?” Atsumu urged, trying to get Sakusa to speak.

“Yes, I remember.” Sakusa replied quietly, straining himself to talk to all these people at once. He just wanted to speak with Atsumu. He wanted his heart to burst with joy at hearing the blonde call his name, or smile when the setter made stupid little remarks about the world around them. It was the kinds of things Sakusa took for granted, and now he wanted them back.

The two of them stuck out their hands, obviously wanting to shake. Sakusa took a step back, a bit nervous about touching these unfamiliar people.

“Wait, he doesn’t really like touching people.” Atsumu chimed in, stepping forward to usher their hands away. Both looked a bit disappointed as their hands were shooed away, though Sakusa was used to it. People were often disappointed when someone didn’t want to associate with them, and this was the case for Sakusa. He was too used to seeing people’s faces fall that it just didn’t faze him anymore.

Except when Atsumu stuck out his own hand, Sakusa already knew he had to shake it. He didn’t want to see the blonde’s face fall at all. It wouldn’t be a good sight, and would only just hurt Sakusa even more. He never wanted to see Atsumu look disappointed, especially in him.

“You’re just not familiar with touching, are you, Omi?” Atsumu asked quietly as Sakusa extended his own hand out a little. Sakusa nodded a yes as their hands met, Atsumu softly grabbing Sakusa’s hand in his. Tenderness spread throughout Sakusa, a new feeling he wasn’t used to completely overtaking his mind. It felt almost peaceful. It felt as if he were loved, even for an instant. It...felt like home.

The moment was over in an heartbeat. Atsumu pulled his hand away, leaving Sakusa to glance at his open hand, still slightly curled from holding Atsumu’s in his own.


	3. Chapter 3

More days passed. Sakusa could only feel his emotions becoming more intense.

Slowly, Sakusa began to familiarize himself with Bokuto and Hinata, even though he was still a little on edge with them. They were nice enough and seemed to understand Sakusa’s boundaries, though there were a few times Atsumu had to step in to remind them of their place. 

Such as today. Sakusa was walking to the library on a sunny Saturday afternoon, sighing as his backpack thumped softly against his back. He thought that maybe if he tried to study, it might distract him from the other things that had been going on in his life. Besides, a test was coming up, and he needed to go over some things he wasn’t so sure about.

As he walked, his mind began to wander. Of course, his thoughts always traveled back to Atsumu, and frankly, Sakusa wasn’t complaining. His smile, his laugh, his voice, practically his everything. It was all that Sakusa thought about, and he hated himself for it. He told himself multiple times that it wasn’t healthy, that he shouldn’t be obsessing over someone that didn’t even care about him as a person. But he did it anyway. 

He often wondered why he did so, why he was so attached to someone like Atsumu Miya. 

He asked himself. His mind went blank.

He was so zoned out from reality that he didn’t hear the shout of joy and feet stamping behind him. He didn’t feel the arms around his body until he opened his eyes and looked down to see small hands curling around his lower waist.

Shock and fear ran through his body at the sudden touch, electricity shooting through his veins from the unfamiliar contact. He yelped and pried the arms off of him, turning and pushing his assailant away. The person made a small noise as they hit the ground, a little painful groan sounding from their lips. “What the hell!” Sakusa yelled, fuming as he looked down to see who it was.

His heart instantly dropped in his chest when he realized it was Hinata. The orange haired boy was wincing as he slowly got off from the ground, rubbing his cheek. A sharp line was cut through his skin, the exposed skin pink and the skin peeling off. Blood was beginning to blossom from the scrape, making Sakusa turn away in disgust at seeing someone’s bodily fluids.

He felt his heart drop to the bottom of his stomach when he heard footsteps fast approaching, and a familiar voice sounded that cut straight through his heart like a dagger.

“Shouyou-kun! Are you okay? What happened?”

He didn’t want to turn. He didn’t want to face the person that would probably hate him the most, even if it were a misunderstanding. Though he did it anyway, because he wanted to see Atsumu one more time before he had to go.

The blonde was crouched beside Hinata, tilting his head like he always did when comforting someone or asking questions. He hummed to himself as Hinata explained the situation in a low monotonous voice, glancing at Sakusa from time to time. Sakusa watched, helpless as usual, his grimacing face hidden by the face mask he wore.

Atsumu soon nodded his head, getting up from where he was crouched beside Hinata. He sighed softly, and as he spoke, Sakusa braced himself for the worst. Would he really care if Atsumu hated him for this? Would he care if Atsumu saw him as a freak who hated social interaction with others?

Yes, he would.

“Shouyou-kun... try to be careful next time? We both know Sakusa hates being touched, and sudden hugs can scare anyone. Can you do that for me, please?”

Sakusa wanted to hug the damn fool himself. It was a miracle that Atsumu managed to understand him, and even more so that he didn’t see Sakusa as someone different. He let out a breath of relief, relaxing his shoulders and shooting a grateful glance at the setter. Atsumu glanced back at him, smiling, and Sakusa felt the same shiver run through his body as always. 

“I’m sorry, Sakusa.” Hinata spoke. No malice or ill intent edged his tone, only pure genuinity. Sakusa nodded, grateful that the boy understood as well and apologized.

Suddenly, the orange haired boy seemed to light up, smiling a thin smile as he nudged Atsumu. He made a show of yawning and stretching, beginning to turn away from the blonde.

“Sorry, Atsumu, but I think I’d rather study at home...you can find someone else to go to the library with you.” He turned around suddenly and did a finger gun motion at Sakusa, a small smirk tugging at his lips. “Liiiike Sakusa here! You guys are good friends, right? I’m sure Sakusa needs a study buddy!”

“Shouyou-kun, wait-“ Atsumu turned and tried to grab the orange haired boy’s shoulder, but the small first year wriggled out of his grip and began to speed walk away.

“Sorry! Have fun with Sakusa, Atsumu!” 

Then he was gone, leaving Sakusa and Atsumu alone together on the sidewalk.

Atsumu sighed, stretching his back and placing his hands on his hips. Sakusa almost snorted out loud. It looked like he was a pregnant lady, about to go into labor, and the thought of a pregnant Atsumu made Sakusa let out a small, breathy laugh.

 _Shit. I laughed out loud._ Sakusa’s eyes widened, shaking his head. Atsumu’s eyes widened, trotting over to the outside hitter. He tilted his head like a puppy, humming as he tentatively reached out a finger and gently poked Sakusa’s cheek. Sakusa recoiled, only slightly, and Atsumu pulled back, regret shining in his eyes.

“Ah, sorry- but did I just hear Omi laugh?” Atsumu chuckled, smiling even wider than before. His smile seemed to light up the world, at least Sakusa’s. He always felt better after a rough day when Atsumu would walk to the dorms with him, clutching his backpack and talking about the day. He always knew when Sakusa was in a bad mood, and always made sure to include jokes in his daily monologue. Sometimes, he knew when just a simple compliment and smile would work, and days like that would send Sakusa’s mind into a whirlwind. It made Sakusa grow fonder and fonder of him each day.

He hated himself for it.

“I didn’t laugh.” Sakusa responded drily, looking down his nose at the setter. “You must be hearing things in that scatterbrained little head of yours.”

“Scatterbrained? Omi, you look as if you live in your head every single day!”

_He’s taken notice._

“I do not.” Sakusa rolled his eyes, turning on his heel to continue his journey to the library.

Atsumu was at his side in an instant. To the right, slightly in front, just the way Sakusa liked it. Their normal. It felt comforting to know that Atsumu was always right in front of him, and it always gave Sakusa the opportunity to make a move. 

He’d always wanted to place a hand on Atsumu’s shoulder while they walked together, however he never knew how or when to initiate it, or how he should react afterwards. Would Atsumu like it? Would he accept it, or be disgusted and turn away? Would it make it awkward if he did so?

Sakusa reached a hand up, hesitated, and let it drop back to his waist. _Another day._

 _But when would another day be?_ He asked himself, biting his lip from under his mask. He didn’t know what to do. What should he do? When should he do it? How-

“Omi?” A hand being waved over his face snapped him back to reality. He blinked a few times, startled.

It was Atsumu. There was genuine concern in his eyes as he studied the outside hitter. It was different from when they first met, when Atsumu was “concerned” about Sakusa’s shivering. It looked so real, and it made Sakusa’s heart murmur softly, glad that the blonde worried for him.

“Are you alright? See, this is what I mean by you spacing out all the time!” Atsumu crowed, chuckling a little as Sakusa shot him a glare.

“I told you. I don’t ‘space out’. Now let’s go to the library before rush hour.” Sakusa huffed and turned away from Atsumu, continuing his commute to the library.

The walk was silent the rest of the way, almost blissful. It gave Sakusa some time to sort out all the jumbled thoughts in his head from past events, making the tightness in his chest loosen up just a little. He supposed it helped that Atsumu was there. The setter gave off a calming aura, despite his prickly personality, and it comforted Sakusa knowing that the blonde at least had a sort of fondness for him, even if it might be fake.

 _But is fondness all you want from him?_ His mind crowed, more thoughts surfacing from the darker depths of his brain.

He didn’t have an answer to that, at least not yet. Either way, he would be disappointed in himself for allowing himself to think about this boy all the time. It was the sort of sappy love thing that was near the top of Sakusa's _Things I Hate_ list, and was quickly moving up spaces since he was falling victim to it.

They arrived at the library a handful of minutes before rush hour. Sakusa could see a few more students than normal, crowding around the doors. He shivered, just a little, at the numbers, cursing himself for not leaving the house sooner. He didn’t want to deal with a handful of people, since the WiFi got considerably slower, and more books would be checked out. There wasn’t a guarantee he would find what he was looking for if he was checking in during rush hour versus if it was less busy. Plus, he was uncomfortable with large crowds, and that’s exactly what this was. 

Atsumu seemed to not pick up on his uncomfortableness this time, a sudden surprise to Sakusa since he was usually able to sense things about others fairly quickly. Maybe it was just for his own personal gain to observe others? He wasn’t sure. Atsumu seemed like a complex person, however it hadn’t really been over a month of knowing him to be able to figure anything about him.

Sakusa was too busy thinking of the littlest things about him anyways. He wasn’t concerned with his character for the time being.

“There sure are a lot of people.” Atsumu stated, humming as they walked through the sliding glass doors. The library was airy and light, filled with shelves upon shelves of books. Large glass windows illuminated the room at day; there were large light fixtures on the ceiling that served as a light source for after hours. Apparently, it was all solar powered, but Sakusa didn’t care enough to find out.

“Thanks for the observation.” Sakusa rolled his eyes and made a sharp right to the biology section of the library. His shoes thumped against the scratchy blue carpet tiles, shreds of light encasing his feet as they traveled between bookshelves. He could hear Atsumu stamping alongside him, humming as he swayed around looking at all the books. Sakusa stopped in his tracks once he found the correct section, turning to make eye contact with Atsumu.

“What did you come to get from here?” Sakusa asked, raising a brow at Atsumu. He was busy looking at a random book that was close to falling off the shelf.

He turned slowly, his eyes traveling up to meet Sakusa’s. It was dangerous holding eye contact with him for this long. He could see a future in those dark eyes of his. A long, winding future, filled with love, hate, lust, passion, everything in between. It was something that just happened, even if Sakusa willed himself not to. Almost as if it was a sign.

_Stop being sappy._

“I came here for some biology books as well.” Hummed the setter, returning his gaze to the book quicker than normal. _Is he having trouble holding eye contact too?_

“Ah. What book?” 

“Some thick biology textbook. It has a white tiger on the front.” Sakusa mused, tracing a finger over the spines of books as his eyes darted to each individual volume.

He heard a little chuckle coming from Atsumu, and a small poke on the side of his shoulder. A jolt of electricity shot through him from the contact, but it was gone faster than expected. Sakusa turned to the perpetrator, which was Atsumu himself. The blonde was smiling his usual cocky smile, the book Sakusa was looking for held in his rough, warm hands.

“Found it.” Atsumu chimed. Sakusa reached for the book, however, Atsumu didn’t budge. It stayed firmly in his grasp, even when Sakusa tugged on the spine.

“Are you going to give it…?”

The blonde shook his head, a bit of an exasperated sigh coming from his throat as he stood up and stretched.

“You see,” Atsumu sighed, turning to look idly at the bookshelf next to them. “I have to read through this same book…”

“And they don’t have copies?” Sakusa raised an eyebrow. He tried to ignore the cliche-like thoughts running through his head right now. _Sharing a book with him!_ Shut up.

“If they did, I wouldn’t be holding onto it right now.” Atsumu rolled his eyes. It was the first trace of sarcasm he had ever seen in the blonde. Frankly, it was cute, even if the remark did sting. 

_Cute?_

“So what do you propose we do?” Sakusa asked. He didn’t want to seem desperate, and driving the events away from sharing a book with the setter seemed like the best option at the moment. 

“Can’t we just share it?” Atsumu’s eyes traveled up to meet Sakusa’s. Another shiver. He should really start counting. 

“How about you check it out now, read it really quickly, and then give it back to me.” Sakusa added some mock celebration, holding his hands up in victory to imitate the setter’s outgoing personality. “Jee, Omi, that’s a great idea! Why didn’t I think of that sooner? Is it because I’m a brain dead idiot who can’t think without his ears blowing steam?” 

He let his arms fall to his sides, his eyes traveling back to meet Atsumu’s. He hated to see the flash of hurt that shone in his dark eyes, though it was replaced soon after with a bit of a playful twinkle. 

“Ah, so you don’t want to share a book with me, then?” Atsumu tilted his head to the side. “I mean, I’m a slow reader, so I probably won’t give it back to you until really late in the evening. Besides, if we use the same book and read together, we can study and help each other out! Doesn’t that sound more appealing?” 

He dropped a shoulder, moving a few inches closer to Sakusa. If there was hidden tension before, it showed now, making Sakusa’s foot tap against the carpet to relieve it. Atsumu’s eyes were trained on his ear, almost as if he wanted to lean in and whisper, though he stood firm in his place. Sakusa felt another shiver run down his spine, this time from the thought of Atsumu’s warm breath brushing against his skin. 

In a lower tone, the blonde finally added, “What happened to only wanting to hang out with me, hm?” 

_Shit._

Sakusa tried to ignore the sharp pain in his chest, and the ringing in his ears. His mind whirled furiously, traveling back to when the low murmur of Sakusa’s inner wishes was uttered out loud. The “hm?” that made him feel at ease, knowing his secret was protected. But he had said it, those exact words that Sakusa thought were only his. His little cloak-and-dagger. Something that would stay in his mind and his mind only. 

But Atsumu knew. Whether it be a lucky guess or sharp intuition, he knew. Sakusa’s throat ran dry. The tightness in his chest returned. 

_So this is what it feels like to be found out._


	4. Chapter 4

Atsumu had a lot of strange, almost abnormal things happen to him in his life.

But his sudden attraction to Sakusa Kiyoomi was his strangest incident yet.

Part of it was the fact that he had never felt like this about anyone before, especially about his volleyball teammates. The only thing he cared about on that court was if they could keep up with him and his sets, not how they looked today or how their eyes seemed to glow like the night sky or the crinkles under their eyes or the moles that freckled every inch of that perfect body or-

He was rambling again.

It was almost as if Omi was a magnet, (yes, Atsumu knew that was cheesy. But did he care? No. These are his private thoughts, after all.) attracting Atsumu to him more and more as each day passed by. No matter how much he tried to fight it, the gravitational pull of Sakusa Kiyoomi and his sheer beauty was too much for Atsumu to fight. He knew he’d have to eventually submit to the pull, however he figured he might as well keep pushing it back since he was so confused about his own feelings. 

He didn’t think it was looks that attracted him to Omi, at least, not only his looks. He felt as if Omi were more complex as a person than… Bokkun and Shouyou-kun. God, Atsumu was able to gather everything about those two after only three weeks of knowing them. It wasn’t that they were simpletons, it was just that they were absolutely terrible at hiding their emotions. They basically seeped out of them like a squeeze bottle. A little prodding here and there, and they’d be telling you stuff faster than you’d realize.

It took Atsumu some digging. About two months worth, if he was correct. 

He knew Omi hated touching or being touched, for whatever reason. He wasn’t sure if it was because of his germaphobia or if he just didn’t like people, but he figured that he would just have to make the ravenette gradually warm up to him to be able to overpass that stepping stone. After all, it wasn’t like Atsumu had wild fantasies that consisted of running his hands through that silky black hair as they-

Maybe he should stop.

There seemed to be a lot of things Omi hated, whether it be about himself or about the world. Atsumu agreed with some of the stuff about the world, but Omi hating himself? He couldn’t stand it. Part of him wanted to yell at the boy to get his shit together and start loving himself and all of his pure ethereal looks, though he knew that wasn’t how it worked. If it did, he would’ve done it already.

“I hate how my hair just… flops.” Omi voiced on a windy Sunday afternoon, walking back from having lunch at a local cafe.

_WHAT?_ Atsumu wanted to scream. _WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? OMI, YOUR HAIR IS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. I LOVE THE WAY IT LOOKS SO SILKY NO MATTER WHAT. I LOVE THE WAY THE STRANDS COVER YOUR RIGHT EYE AND MAKE YOUR PUPIL LOOK EVEN DARKER. I LOVE THE WAY IT, etc, etc._

“I see.” Was all the boy managed to choke out.

The blonde had also observed his obvious annoyance to nicknames, which was why Atsumu started calling him Omi. Sometimes, he added a -kun at the end or said it twice, resulting in an angry, red faced Omi flubbing on his words. He quite enjoyed teasing, and getting a reaction as priceless as that one only fueled his attraction towards the outside hitter. Of course, as time went on, the only thing he could get out of the ravenette was a glare, although he made it a point to mention his past flustered antics constantly. Egging Omi on was one of Atsumu’s favorite pastimes, after all.

One thing Atsumu wasn’t sure about, however, was Omi’s overthinking tendencies. He sensed that Omi spent most of his time in his head, though even if he did, he was damn good at hiding it. There were a few occasions where Atsumu could see it, like when Omi would stare off into space or just stare at him without saying anything. It was practically right in front of him, yet it wasn’t enough to safely conclude that Omi was an overthinker. If he was, well, then, at least him and Atsumu had something in common.

The only thing Atsumu had a problem with was Omi’s severe coldness towards him, and especially him. He didn’t get it at all. Why did he hang out so much with Atsumu, then? Why did he seem to enjoy Atsumu’s presence then make a snappy remark at the blonde when he tried to initiate a conversation? Even worse, Omi was generally nicer to Bokkun and Shouyou-kun than he was to Atsumu, yet he preferred spending time with Atsumu instead of them. It gave Atsumu a headache when he tried thinking about it in depth, and eventually pushed it into the back of his mind to solve later.

The only real question Atsumu had for himself was: Why are you spending so much time trying to figure out everything about him?

His answer? He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure of his feelings. He wasn’t sure of anything when it came to Omi. His usual certainty and confidence was shattered by Sakusa Kiyoomi, one of the top aces in Japan.

Even though he was his friend, (friend. Miya Atsumu was sure that him and Omi were going to be friends. Nothing more. Nothing less. Another inquiry to check onto his pending list.) Atsumu couldn’t help but feel a pang of humiliation.

Ah, nonetheless, he estimated that it would take another month or so to finally pry everything out of the ravenette. He didn’t exactly know what he would do once he had finally completed his feeling-driven mission, however he decided to come back to it later when it was time to sort it out.

He’d figured out this much about Omi. Surely finding out the rest of this boy’s interesting disposition wouldn’t be so bad after all, right?


End file.
